"She's always been such a sensitive girl..."

Well, turns out I did care. I cared a lot. I came to realize this when I kept getting upset. Things went from bad to worse until I couldn’t stand it any longer and broke down. I had tried his method of keeping quiet, not saying anything. “Not Caring”…. But it was under false pretenses because I actually did care and still do. Is it still love if you keep getting hurt? I think it is. Maybe love has made me ultra sensitive. Perhaps my feelings get hurt more easily now. Does that mean I’m insecure? Or just sensitive?

I hate that word “sensitive”. It has so many negative connotations: weakness, lack of a backbone, wishy-washy, crybaby. But it can also be a very awesome thing. To be sensitive is a kind and caring thing. If you harness that sensitivity you can use it for all sorts of good things. I think in order to be intuitive you would probably be sensitive as well. Being sensitive to others’ emotions, thoughts, and feelings can make one a master manipulator. It can be used for good or evil. A highly sensitive person could be a wonderful leader, doctor, teacher, mother, daughter, girlfriend. Highly sensitive people may also be artistic. Fragility poised on a ledge between reality and a dreamscape.  Some of the best musicians are sensitive. 


But then there is being overly sensitive, which I tend to be. To put it in the words of the recording artist, Feist, “I feel it all, I feel it all” I feel it alright, very strongly. The good and the bad, which makes it so difficult to balance the two. Must I sacrifice the good for the bad? How do I let go of my oversensitivity to bad but keep the good?


Learning to love oneself and to be comfortable in one’s own skin is an important life lesson I’ve always heard. One that I’m sure I’m still grappling with. But with each hurt and disappointment, sometimes it’s impossible to tell whether I’m moving ahead and growing stronger or falling behind. I guess I won’t know until I’m older.